It's almost been a month since I had the bloodwork appointment where I was a little pregnant. In most ways, the month has flown by--on top of my regular work and school routine, other things such as travel for conferences, the LSU/Arkansas football game, travel for fun, and Thanksgiving have kept me busy. What I haven't been doing is going to any of the races I signed up for in November. I've also decided I am done drinking alcohol for a while, which hasn't been a huge change in my day-to-day routine but has been surprising for some people in social situations. However, as many of my friends will attest, I love a good mocktail as much as I love a cocktail.
Despite staying busy, I haven't been quite able to shake the grief that's followed the chemical pregnancy from our first frozen embryo transfer. I know these things take time, and I also know that I'll never be exactly the same after experiencing this loss (and the [in]fertility journey more broadly). It seems like I get a little closer to normal every day, but some days are definitely tougher than others. As evidence that I can still smile and have fun, here are a few photos from The Office Experience that Brooke and I went to in Chicago. (If you're a fan of The Office and are going to be in Chicago between now and January 17, go check out the experience! We loved it.)
|Brooke and me in Michael's office
|Enjoying the Finer Things Club--I'm smiling under the mask